Accessible Warsaw: The Tiger Den

Warsaw High School's gym is affectionately called The Tiger Den. Each March I attend the Community Quiz Bowl in The Tiger Den. I don't go as a quiz team participant, I go to cheer on the best team on the floor, Book Club Husbands.

Four years ago, the first year I went to the Quiz Bowl, I walked in. The next two years I walked with a cane.  Last year I was out of town during the event. This year, of course, I went on my scooter. I was interested to see if the event would be accessible. In the past years, the spectators sat in bleachers on the upstairs level, having to climb stairs to get up there. I am sure there is an elevator somewhere in the high school, but I don't know of one specifically right there in The Tiger Den area.

Parking for The Tiger Den is around the back of the high school. Perhaps there are better handicap parking spaces in front of the school, but the pickings were slim around back. I was happy to see that near the handicap parking spot the street is level with the sidewalk.

I was alarmed, however, at how far away from the entrance the parking spot was.  It was a beautiful evening and the weather was nice, but I would hate to have had to make that long ride in snow or rain.

All of those cars are parked within a 15 second walk to the entrance!

When I got to the door to enter the building, there was no handicap button to push to easily open the door. The kind people with me opened the door, but it would be so nice if there was a button I could push so I could go in independently.

The spectating area has been moved, it is now on the floor level in the bleachers. That was nice and that meant that there was no elevator needed. I knew that we would be sitting in bleachers and I cannot get up into a bleacher, so I had my friend who was going early try to find a chair that I could sit in. She had put a reserved sign on a chair, so I was able to sit right next to the bleachers where all my friends were sitting.

I do pause and wonder what would happen if I went to a packed basketball game at The Tiger Den. Do they have an area for seating for people with disabilities? I really have no idea; I'm sure that if I called in advance it could be arranged. If I were to go to a basketball game however, I certainly wouldn't wonder if there were restrooms available for the crowd. That is just an expectation that is met. It would be wonderful if seating for people with disabilities was also a normal expectation that is met.

Quiz bowl 2016 was a fun evening.  Book Club Husbands did well, they are an intelligent group of guys, but no trophies were won this year. I will give my rating for The Tiger Den, but it is just the gymnasium part of the high school. To truly give a rating, I will need to visit the entire high school.

Warsaw High School: The Tiger Den =***(three out of five stars for accessibility)
+ handicap parking spot was the same level as the sidewalk
+ bleacher option on the main floor, not only on the upstairs level
+ chairs are available, not only bleacher seating
- handicap parking much too far away from the entrance
- no button/automatic door
- would that chair have been available had I not had a friend save it for me?

Spouse as caregiver... A relationship twist

Chris and I have been married for 20 years. I was 15 when we went on our first date. In August 1995 I turned 21, and two days later I got married. I don't remember our wedding vows word for word, but I know they were pretty traditional; I'm sure they included the "in sickness and in health" line.

When we got married, we were the picture of health. We were both fit, tan, intelligent, without a care in the world. Yet we made that promise to each other. To love, honor, and support each other even in sickness. But do we have to like each other?

There should be a clause in the marriage vow, an addendum maybe? Something that warns that a life-changing chronic illness can be included in the simple word "sickness". As young twenty-somethings, did Chris and I really stop and think what sickness could include? I'm pretty sure I was meaning a bad cold, possibly the flu.

I am positive I wasn't thinking multiple sclerosis. Definitely not a multiple sclerosis that would rob me of the use of my legs and slowly take away the use of my right arm and hand. A chronic illness that leaves me, someone who has been fiercely independent her whole life, physically and emotionally dependent in a way that is humbling and, quite frankly, annoying.

But that's me. This is my body, my illness, my issue. Except for that it's not. This is an illness that affects the whole family. I have become a burden.  I looked up synonyms for burden and found: problem, obligation, worry, pill, and dead weight.  I have become dead weight.  Ha.  That one made me laugh.

Fortunately I married a man who seems to enjoy dead weight. He doesn't enjoy being a caregiver for me. We have moved into these roles reluctantly. But he does seem to like me. He will do what needs to be done. It won't be as gently as some, it may be hurried and messy, but he will do what needs to be done. Why would you do that for a person unless you liked her?  Over and over, day in and day out. I can depend on him.  And the best part? The true secret to keeping a marriage intact? He keeps me laughing the entire time he's shoving me into a car,  plopping my legs into bed, lifting me up out of a chair.  He can't help it.  He's a silly goof ball and even when I want to strangle him... he makes me laugh.

A better wedding vow would be "to love you, to try to like you, and to always make you laugh".

Accessible Warsaw: Creighton's Crazy Egg Cafe

Creighton's Crazy Egg Cafe opened in Warsaw about six months ago.  I had heard rave reviews and was anxious to see for myself.  I was prepared for the coffee and food to be good, but....is it accessible?

I was happy to find "eggs"cellent (ugh... couldn't help myself) handicapped parking and a ramp right by the front door.  The ramp twirls around a silo; I love that it is part of the farm theme.  How cute!

So handy to have the ramp right by the parking spot! 

                                                                                 

Up the ramp I go! Functional and cute, a win!

When I arrived at the front doors, I was disappointed to see that there was no handicapped entry button. Once again I had a good friend with me and she opened the door of course, but I wish more restaurants and stores would put in these buttons to foster independence for all of us.

I got in the door and entered a cozy gathering space. We had plans to go for breakfast so we were heading to the tables, but this little nook would be a nice place to meet with friends and have coffee. There are no steps so it is completely accessible. I would be able to sit in my scooter or transfer out of it onto a comfortable chair.

Please join me for coffee!


With no wait, we went right to our table.  It is not always easy for me to transfer off of my scooter. There are times when the muscles in my legs tense up and are stick straight.  Luckily my friend Julie is not scared to get in there and bend my legs and help me as much as possible. There are times when it is easier than others, but there has never been a time when I haven't made it off my scooter to sit in a chair. Hopefully within the next six months I will be able to use my power chair and that part of the scenario will no longer be an issue. Once again, there were no steps at all inside the café so it was very easy for me to maneuver.

This picture didn't turn out that well, but it does show that they have low and high tables. I am not able to sit up in a tall chair, so I am glad there are options.

After a delicious breakfast, we headed to the restroom to see if it was as accessible as the rest of the café. I was very happy with what I found.

Wide and easy for a scooter to fit through!

A restroom can never have too many grab bars!

Creighton's Crazy Egg Café is a fun place to grab breakfast and coffee! I am positive I will be going back soon.

Creighton's Crazy Egg Café =**** (four out of five stars on my accessibility scale)
+ wonderful handicap parking
+ fun ramp that matches the theme and is useful
+ everything is on one level, easy to get around in a scooter
+ accessible bathrooms
- no button/automatic door

View from the Pool Deck

Being a swim mom is one of my favorite roles.  Swim practice, meets, suits, caps, goggles, towels, and, most importantly, the swimmers.  I love watching GJ swim, and hope B will soon join the fun.  I will conserve energy all week to be able to get to the meets on the weekends!  Getting there takes a lot of work, GJ helps me into and out of the car.  She then helps me get set up in the spectator area before she heads down for warm ups.  Lately it has become even more difficult for me to get around and I'm eternally grateful to my mom, Chris, Kristle, Tim, and Janet for their help at swim meets this year!

Some pools have designated handicapped seating, which is the best.  I set up my chair and that's where GJ knows to find me for the rest of the meet!  Older pools often times don't have elevators.  No elevator means I have to sit on the deck.  That may sound fun, but it's not ideal.  I'm separated from other parents.  I may be surrounded by swimmers from another team.  It's usually the worst view in the house.  Swimming is a sport best observed from an elevation so all the lanes can be seen and the entire scoreboard can be read.

At the Concord High School pool in Elkhart. Hope my swimmer is in the lanes I can see!

At a meet recently I kept looking at the stairs that lead up to the spectator area.  I thought about the disconnect I feel between my mind and my body.  Sitting, watching, cheering, chatting.  I feel so normal.  Sometimes I let my mind pretend that my body is able.  Able to walk up those steps and plop right down on a seat.  Able to saunter out to my car in the parking lot after the meet.  But then the end of the meet comes and I wait for GJ to come help me.  Help steady me as I transfer from my chair to my scooter. And again from my scooter to the car.

But one day.... Maybe one day I'll be able to walk again.  Even if it's with a cane.  And I'll slowly climb those stairs and sit in any bleacher seat available.  And GJ may have a tougher time finding me in the crowd, but eventually she will.  And we'll smile, blow kisses, and I'll remind her to KICK into and out of her turns!

I have a feeling I'll get up those stairs again one day.

The great thing is no matter if I'm walking or riding my scooter, these two love me!  I'm confident of that!  

Accessible Warsaw: OP Nails

Mani/pedi?  Sure!  I enjoy having painted nails, especially now with gel polish that lasts a lot longer on my nails than "regular" polish.

Getting in to the nail salon is an interesting task, one that I'm currently not able to do without help. Luckily my friend Julie wanted to get her nails done too, and is not intimidated by a friend on a scooter!  So we met at OP Nails, which was a safe choice because I already knew it was accessible.

OP Nails is in a strip mall with a small parking lot.  It does have a handicapped parking space.  I need extra room by the driver's side door so that my scooter can be brought right up next to me.   Julie met me in the parking lot.  This not being her first time helping me, she came right over to the back of my car and lifted out my scooter.  She brought it over to my open door and, very thoughtfully, offered to kick away the slushy snow.

Trying to make the area less slippery!

After the area was less slushy, Julie brought my scooter right next to the door.  She helped me get my legs out of the car and positioned so I hopefully wouldn't fall as I transferred from the car to the scooter.  

Hop on!

There are two ramps up to the sidewalk in this parking lot.  One is right in front of OP Nails, but often many cars are parked in front of it making it unusable.  The other ramp was wide open, but it's awkward to use because it ramps up to a very narrow sidewalk.  Julie stood next to me, but I feel like if I would have tipped, I would have taken her down with me!

I appreciate the blue lines in front of the ramp.

OP Nails does not have a handicapped door button opener.  Thumbs down, OP!  I've been told that the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) does not mandate those buttons, only that doors have handles.  I'm sure that would quickly change if, even for just one day, everyone had to get around in a wheelchair or scooter!  Thankfully, Julie very politely held the door open for me. 

So polite! 

I had not gotten a pedicure since I've been in my scooter.  It's difficult to take off my shoes and socks and then, of course, put them back on before going home.  We both wanted pretty toes though, so Julie offered to help me with shoes, socks, and getting into the pedicure chair.  The man at OP Nails, however, just kept helping me every step of the way.  (I don't know his name, I believe he is the owner?  He's Vietnamese and there is a language barrier.)  Julie helped too, but he took over and didn't seem put off at all by helping me.  He was patient when my stubborn leg wouldn't bend.  He helped me get on my scooter to go over to the manicure area.  Before I knew it, he was putting my socks and shoes back on for me.  

OP Nails = ****  (4 out of 5 stars on my accessibility scale)

+ Handicapped parking and two ramps, but one is often blocked.

+ Polite, helpful staff.

+ Shop is all one level, easy to get around in a scooter.

- No button/automatic door.

(Julie =  5 out of 5 on my friendship scale!)

Patience

I hope in a year from now I'll look back on Sept '15 through June '16 as "That time I stayed home.  A lot."

I drive with hand controls.  I took six hours of Driver's Ed and got a restricted driver's license.  My right leg is my bad leg (although my left leg isn't moving so well either these days), so driving with hand controls is a relief, not a challenge.  I don't ever accidentally try to use my foot because my foot won't move!

Now that my right arm and hand are very weak, I am working on getting "reduced effort steering" on my car.  I'm going through Vocational Rehabilitation, which is a government agency that helps people with disabilities stay working.  They paid for my hand controls.  They'll pay for reduced effort steering.  They'll pay to get a mini-van converted with a ramp.  They came to my office and assessed my work environment and concluded I could use a desk that will rise and lower (to fit my power chair), a different type of mouse, a smaller keyboard (to ease one-handed typing), and Dragon Naturally Speaking software, which will allow me to verbally command my computer and ease hand fatigue.  And Voc Rehab ordered and paid for all the items.  It is a wonderful resource, one that I'm so thankful for.  We have incredible expenses due to MS, so to get these things paid for is great!

BUT.  It takes soooooo long.  I started the hand control process in May 2013 and they were finally placed in my car on Dec. 24, 2013.

I started the office modification and reduced effort steering/mini-van process on Sept. 1, 2015.  And I'm still waiting!! The office supplies order has been placed, I was told today.  Until we get the mini-van with a ramp figured out, I can't go anywhere alone.  Luckily I have family and awesome friends who have learned how to help me get in the car and how to assemble my scooter. But I sure do miss running to the store on my own every now and then.  I miss going to the library and spending as long as I want looking for the perfect books, no one waiting on me.    Walking from my house to my car, maybe 20 steps, is so physically draining that most times I prefer to stay home!

A year from now... by then I hope to be able to zoom my chair right into the van, drive, and do what I want!  I'm wrapping my brain around the idea of being out and about in my hulk of a power chair.  I hated using a cane, but got used to it.  Dreaded taking my scooter out in public, but now have even been on the (insane) sidewalks of NYC with it.  So I'll be in a power chair.  Ok, not the image of myself I dream of portraying.  But I can't stay home the rest of my life! It's still me.  Just in a big chair that drives.  At least it's pink.

My Truth: A Life Reduced

I'm living a life reduced.  Not in every way, because I am still alive and breathing.  But in so many ways.  I'm typing this using only my left hand because my right hand is too weak to type.  Those muscles and nerves don't listen to my brain anymore.  I can no longer walk.  I live on only the main floor of my home.  All my needs are met on this level of the house.  I can't, however get upstairs to my kids' bedrooms.  There is a special bond that comes from being in your child's room, sitting on his or her bed, peeking in at their slumber.  I miss that. 

I'm unable to go down to our beautiful basement that we finished 5 years ago.  I miss the quiet privacy of working in the gorgeous office down there.  My office is now in my son's playroom. 

I struggle getting on and off the toilet on my own.  I haven't showered independently in over a year.  I require help getting my legs up into bed.  If I don't have someone help me get dressed, I can do it alone, but it will take 45 minutes.  I don't prepare meals for my family.  I don't do dishes, I don't do the laundry.  Multiple Sclerosis has taken away the use of my legs and of my right arm and hand.  There are so many things I don't do anymore.

But I'm still here.  And there is much I am able to do. I'm emotionally available to my kids.  I'm home 95% of the week.  They are secure in the knowledge that when they're home, Mom's home.  I do my job.  I take care of accounts payable for three businesses and our home and run payroll for two businesses.  MS hasn't affected my cognition, I'm still pretty bright. :)

My idea for a blog is to write about the accessibility of my town.  Once I've taken the effort to get dressed, get in the car and drive somewhere (using hand controls), can I get in?  That's one thing I plan to focus on with my writing.  But... I've already discovered with this first entry that I'm also, apparently, using it as a place to show my reality.  I'm guilty of hiding my truth behind a lot of smiles and "I'm ok"s.  But here it is.  Warts and all.