Staring at freedom!

Back in February on my blog I wrote a post titled Patience. In it I wrote about getting a minivan with a ramp and hand controls and how I assumed I would have it by June. I was off by a few months, as the official pickup day of that van was August 22. I started the process on September 1, 2015, so I can say that at least it took under a year.

Everyone is so happy for me. I am so happy for me. I am very thankful that we were able to purchase a brand-new vehicle and that Vocational  Rehabilitation was willing to pay for the modifications, which cost more than the new van. I even think that having to wait almost a year ended up being a good thing. It gave me the time to mentally prepare myself to be out in public in my power chair.

Once I started limping, then using a cane, then using my scooter and a manual wheelchair, people started staring. People stare in all different ways. There's the outright stare, the "I'm going to look at you and then look away and then think that you don't notice but then take a long stare" stare, the "pull my sunglasses down over my eyes so I can stare better" stare. I'm used to it now, and usually I blow it off or don't even notice. At times I have given a few of my own stare downs in return, and on some grumpy days I've offered to sell tickets, but mostly I blow it off.

Being in a power chair is a whole different beast. It's funny, my scooter was kind of cool looking and people would often ask about it or say how it looks very handy. No one says that about a power chair. No one says "I wish I had one of those!" I don't blame them!  Let this serve as a public service announcement. If you are over the age of 10 and see someone in a scooter, you don't need to comment on how handy it looks or how convenient it must be or how you wish you had one of those. It's not convenient. Two healthy walking legs are convenient. I am envious of your healthy legs. I don't care if they are fat or thin, hairy or smooth, blotchy, full of freckles, tan, or white as a ghost.  Don't be envious of a scooter. That's ridiculous.

After being on house arrest for 90% of the time the past eight months, being out in a power chair is wonderful. I am a social person. I like to be out among people at events watching my kids. I like to go on dates with my husband without having to worry about shoving my legs into a car. I like to be around people so much that finally it's annoying and I cherish being home alone. I will take this new freedom and enjoy it more now than I ever did when I walking.  And if you are staring at me, stare away.  Know that you are staring at a mom and wife who is enjoying life.

 

  

Badass Basset Hound

A wise old soul.

I saw the movie The Secret Life of Pets this weekend. It was entertaining and cute, and a great way to beat the heat. I'm not giving away any spoilers of this adorable movie, but I am going to talk about my favorite character.

A group of the pets get in trouble. They get in over their heads and they're unsure of what to do and how to fix this problem. After trying to solve it themselves, they realize they need to go to Pops. In my mind, Pops was going to be a pit bull or a great Dane or some type of big amazing dog. But to my delight he was a basset hound. Of course my family has a fondness for basset hounds because we have our own darling Mildred Blue. But this basset hound is even better because he is in a doggie wheelchair.

Over the past two or three years I have joked with my friends that now that I am 40ish and in a power wheelchair, I am wise. My 20s were fine, but full of hard work and figuring things out in life. My 30s were awesome. I had my kids, I had fun with my friends, I was in the groove and enjoying life. Now in my 40s I am finding a new groove. And with this groove comes time for reflection and intentional wisdom. Still so far from perfect in so many ways, but slowly realizing that perfection is whatever I choose it to be.

Pops is great. He has helpers, as those of us in wheelchairs do. But he is still in charge, as I will feel that I am until my dying day. At first, being in charge from a wheelchair seems like an impossibility. But as my family quickly has learned, it is absolutely possible!

Pops, in his doggie wheelchair, makes his way around the city and the apartment complex with gusto and without hesitation. Obviously it is not how he always got around, but he has adjusted and makes his way without a stumble. I have stumbled. Oh my, how many times I have stumbled,and relied on help from my family, friends, and often times the kindness of strangers. The stumbling used to cause instant tears and frustration. Then it changed and began to cause reflection and problem solving and thoughts of, "How can I do that better next time?"  Now when I stumble it can still cause all of those things, but often it also involves laughter.  Laughter helps overcome the awkwardness, it takes away pity, and it reminds me that I can get through this.

Pops? He's also kind of grumpy. And I like that about him. Wheelchair or not, I think both Pops and I have always tended to be grumpy. Lovable yes, but also wise and grumpy. Maybe in my next life I'll be a basset hound.

Please leave me alone.

Accessible Warsaw: Warsaw Women's Center

My pick? Dr. Ryser.  She's wonderful.

 

It was time for that yearly visit to the "Women's Center". Except for that I have been a bad patient and haven't been for four years. (I've been to countless other doctors, but the gyno just wasn't the priority at this time in my life.) I was interested to see how this experience would go with my new limited mobility issues.

My expectations were high because this is a medical facility. The parking was excellent, well marked with ample room to get out of my car and easily head up the ramp to the front door.



Seamless parking lot to sidewalk transition.

 

The Women's Center continued the Warsaw tradition of not having a button to open the door easily. That was a disappointment and something I hope will change in the future.

Once I was in the building it was quite easy to get to where I needed to go. When things weren't as easy as they once were, for example transitioning out of my scooter and onto the bed in the exam room, the nurses and doctor couldn't have been more accommodating.

I was due for the dreaded mammogram. I like that at Warsaw Women's Center you can have the mammogram done right there in the building instead of having to go over to the hospital. They have a wheelchair in the building that I was able to use which made the mammogram easier. I was able to sit in the wheelchair, which has removable arms, and we could do the procedure from there.



Nice ramp and sidewalk to the door, but no door entry button.



 

Good accessibility and great accommodation, friendly nurses and Dr. Ryser is a pleasure. For being a doctor's appointment, it was a good experience!




Warsaw Women's Center = **** (four out of five stars on my accessibility scale)
+ good parking
+ excellent ramp and sidewalk leading to the front door
+ office is all one level, easy to get around on a scooter
+ a wheelchair is available for patients who need one
+ the staff is friendly, welcoming, and accommodating
- no button/automatic door


This is Impossible, but Here I am

The other night I took the kids to see Beauty and the Beast on stage. Of course it was a hit and we all loved it. There was one (in the grand scheme of the show) insignificant little part that stuck with me.
The first time Belle goes to her bedroom in the Enchanted Castle she meets furniture that talks. The bureau that holds all the clothes offers to get her dressed in a beautiful gown.  But Belle isn't able to focus on anything other than the fact that the furniture is talking to her.

Belle says to the bureau, "This… Is impossible."

The bureau says, "Yes it is. But. Here we are!"

And then the play moves on. Just like that. It's impossible, but it's true, and here we are, and life goes on.

Soon after this exchange, the cast breaks into the wonderful dinner party for Belle where they sing and dance to "Be Our Guest".  They are all furniture. Something they never dreamed of happening to them. But they are still singing and dancing.

Such wisdom from a Disney musical.

Accessible Warsaw: Rockstar Nails

I have heard good things about Rockstar Nails so I decided to give it a try. OP Nails is closer to my house and I'm more familiar with the people, but I wanted to see if there are other accessible nail salons in Warsaw.

Upon pulling into the parking lot I could see that they had no ramp near their door. I've grown accustomed to searching parking lots for ramps in the sidewalk, and I'm always disappointed when a ramp is not anywhere near the store I'm visiting. This was the case at Rockstar Nails. In fact, I'm not even sure they truly have a handicap parking spot. I did find an area with blue paint at the end of the sidewalk near a ramp, but there was no sign indicating that it was a special parking spot.

I guess this is a handicap parking sign?

Once I parked I saw that the sidewalk does end in a ramp.  It felt very much like an afterthought. I am glad it was there so I could get into the store.

Of course there was no button to automatically open the doors, something that is majorly lacking in so many Warsaw stores.

Going into Rockstar Nails on a scooter was very interesting. The people working there seemed as though they had never seen a person on a scooter before.  Their pedicure chairs do not have arms that completely slide out of the way, so transferring from my scooter to a chair was more challenging than it needed to be. Luckily my friend Julie was there to help me, the ladies who were working were quick to suggest I just stay on my scooter.

I did get a pedicure and manicure and they were both very well done. Rockstar Nails has a huge assortment of gel polish colors, more than I've seen at other stores.

Rockstar Nails = ***(3 out of 5 stars on my accessibility scale)
+ Handicap parking, sort of, needs much better signage
+ There is a ramp, placement could be better
+ Shop is all one level
- No button/automatic door
- Accessibility is definitely an afterthought

Accessible Warsaw: T.J. Maxx

TJ Maxx opened here in Warsaw a few years ago. It was exciting news for our town that lacks some of the big chain stores.  As a newer store here in town, my expectations for T.J. Maxx to be accessible were high.  Luckily, T.J. Maxx did not disappoint.

This is an easy review to write! T.J. Maxx has excellent handicap parking right in front of the store and a ramp that leads to the doors. The best part is that their doors are automatic. They open for you, whether you're walking or on wheels. The store is all one level and very easy to get around in a scooter.  Way to go T.J. Maxx!  I've always liked you for your homegoods, and now I like you even more for your wonderful accessibility.

T.J. Maxx = ***** (5 out of 5 stars on my accessibility scale)
+ handicap parking spot right up front
+ well-maintained, wide ramp from street to store entrance
+ entire store is all one level
+ AUTOMATIC DOORS!!!

Truly a Minority

I am eager to do a new Accessible Warsaw post, I have many pictures on my phone waiting to be dumped onto the blog, but my phone got knocked into the (thankfully clean) toilet yesterday. I broke my rule of no phone in the bathroom. It was sitting on the sink, safely away from the toilet, but my awkward dance of getting off my power chair and onto the toilet included the "knock the phone into the toilet move" that I hope to never perform again.  The phone was insured and a new one is arriving today.

So instead of writing about the accessibility of my town, I am going to write about being a part of the largest minority in our country, the group of people with disabilities.  I'm new to the group and frankly, not thrilled to be a part of it. In all of the television shows I watch, I wonder how the storyline would be different if one of the main characters was confined to a power chair. Olivia Pope in Scandal? Gloria or Claire in Modern Family?  Khaleesi in Game of Thrones?  Even when I was able-bodied I didn't have a ton in common with these characters, but I did have the common experience of being able to walk.

Yesterday I was watching a show on Netflix called Happy Valley. I paused the first episode 20 minutes in and watched a small 30 second segment over and over.  A husband was talking to his wife as she sat on the edge of the bed in her pajamas. As he was chatting, he was taking off her socks. Without a pause in the conversation, he stood up, then bent over as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he helped her put her legs into bed.  I, as the viewer, was never told why the wife needs assistance removing her socks and getting into bed. It is simply a part of their life, not explained at all in this first episode. Words fail me when I try to describe the feeling I had watching that.  It was surreal. Seeing characters on a television show acting out my reality. It was powerful and made me feel "normal".

I am an adult who lived a good 38 years with a fully able body. And I still was touched by seeing this on a television show. Imagine children with disabilities. How empowering would it be for them to see their reality portrayed as a normal part of life on television, in movies, and advertisements.  Our culture has a long way to go to include people with disabilities.